do they?

http://webservices.amadeus.com/images/visual_five_people_staring.jpg


i can't get it, i can't see the actual thing that real happens: do people notice? do they even know that something's going on here?
oh God, i'm desperately curious. i need to know the truth! :(

dance, baby, dance

http://www.allposters.com/-sp/The-Last-Dance-Posters_i426795_.htm

Gue cuma penasaran dan bingung, kenapa sih gw ga luwes dan selalu tampak funny kalo lagi nari? I have the same body structure with everyone else's, tapi kenapa semua orang tampak normal dalam menari sedangkan gue selalu kaku dan ngaco kalo nari? bahkan cowok aja ada yang lebih luwes :(

a covered life

I've been living my life
always thinks, what's gonna happen tomorrow,
why i did some stupid things,
and how i will spend the sunday.

I've been living my life
and i'm always blind
way too naive, to see this world doesn't just turn like that
tears and laughters are blended perfectly here

why don't i taste the cold when the night comes out?
why don't i get burned when the sun shines?
why don't i feel the thorns when i pick the rose?

it's you who keep coming and checking on me
now i never know the bitter of the world

Hingga Angin Berhembus

Aku bisa merasakan hembusan angin di luar jendela ini
membawa wangi tanah basah dan suasana tropis yang segar
mungkin, udaramu di sana seperti pinus dan cemara
atau bernuansa salju putih dingin
yang tertumpuk tebal di setiap atap rumah
dan menyenggol manja di tiap tepian dahan

matahari yang sama menyinari kita
tapi hangatnya menyelimutiku, sedangkan dia di sana malu-malu
dan lewat gelombang-gelombang cahaya ini
aku ingin mengantarkan rasa rinduku yang menjalar di tiap sel darahku
yang menggapai setiap otot-otot tubuhku
mengalirkan air bening ke kelenjar mataku, lalu meneteskannya ke pipiku

aku rindu kamu

aku bisa merasakan positifnya pikiranmu
memikirkan ku dikala aku membayangkanmu
tersenyum pada fotoku ketika aku mengelus suratmu
memandang bintang malamku saat aku menatap langit cerah bermatahari

kamu selalu berkata bahkan punggungmu mencintaiku
saat kamu mulai membelakangiku dan pergi melangkah meninggalkanku
kamu berkata punggungmu selalu menatapku
bahkan ketika punggungmu sudah tidak tampak, otakmu selalu mencintaiku
saat mataku tidak dapat menangkap citra dirimu,
aku jadi percaya, di belakangku selalu ada pikiranmu merekamku


aku ingat nafasmu di tengkukku, saat aku memelukmu mencari lindungan
aku ingat nafasmu di telapak tanganku, saat kamu mencium tanganku
aku ingat nafasmu di pelipisku, saat kamu mengecup lembut pipiku
aku tidak tahu apakah kamu ingat nafasku
di dadamu, saat aku mendekap dan menangis dipelukanmu
di telingamu, saat aku berbisik dan berkata aku sayang kamu
ataupun di jemarimu, saat aku terpana menatap tanganmu yang sungguh besar

dengan angin tropis ini, aku kirimkan helaan nafasku kepadamu
menuju tiupan tajam angin yang dingin di kotamu
biarkan dia melintasi jalan raya,
menyeberangi segala air permukaan,
melewati kumpulan manusia yang terikat persahabatan
bukalah jendelamu dan biarkan dia berhembus dan menyeka pipimu yang kurindukan
karena setelah ini,
entah sebelum mataku terpejam,
atau sebelum tanganku menyentuh fotomu,
nafasku akan berhenti.


http://jonathangreenwald.com/pblog/images/20080619095031_blowing_wind.jpg

Plan Versus Reality

Saya mau recount beberapa hari terakhir. Hari ini Minggu, 6 Desember 2009. Coba mari ingat hari Jumat kemarin.

JUMAT, 4 DESEMBER 2009
Plan
Bangun pagi
Praktikum PTI
Belajar buat UTS di kampus
UTS
Pulang
Nonton DVD Paranormal Activity
Bikin tugas
Bikin holiday plan ke lombok
Tidur

What happened
Bangun pagi
Praktikum PTI
Makan batagor di KBL
Pulang
Online
Belajar buat UTS di kosan
Ke kampus lagi
Belajar buat UTS lagi
UTS
Pulang
Nonton Mocca di BIP
Jalan-jalan di Trunojoyo
Pulang
Nonton Supernatural
Tidur

Okay, that day my plans were totally devastated. -______-

SABTU, 5 DESEMBER 2009
Plan
Bangun jam 7 kurang
Mandi blablabla
Jemput teman-teman kelompok di GKI jam 7
Kerja kelompok
Nonton Supernatural
Nonton Little Miss Sunshine
Bikin tugas
Bikin holiday plan ke Lombok
Bantuin Yoan
Tidur

What happened
Bangun jam 7 kurang
Mandi blablabla
Jemput teman-teman kelompok di GKI jam setengah 9 (mereka yang telat!)
Kerja kelompok
Nonton Supernatural
Nonton My Sister's Keeper (sedih banget deeeh :'( )
Nonton Supernatural
Tidur

Kenapa ya rencana bikin tugas dan holiday plan selalu gagal???

Kebanyakan tidur

Besok, well technically hari ini sih, since now is 1 in the morning, uts fisika. Udah belajar sih, tapi belom selesai dan apa daya semangat udah menguap ke awan di atas Bandung ini dan kemalasan sudah menempel di otak saya seperti genting dengan atap. Dan sialnya, siang tadi saya ketiduran (kasus yang sangat sering terjadi. beuh, muak deh) dan hasilnya sekarang mata saya segaaarrrr ibaratnya subuh-subuh diguyur air dingin. Ya pokoknya saya mau mengadu mata saya dengan monitor laptop biar cepat layu, cepat ngantuk, jadi besok cepat bangun juga!

belom ngantuk juga.

duh masih seger deh.

yaudahlah paling bentar lagi ngantuk. Eh tapi saya pernah loh, waktu itu saya juga ga bisa tidur. Akhirnya saya ambil buku sejarah (waktu itu menjelang ujian sejarah) terus saya baca biar saya cepat ngantuk. Tapi, entah mengapa, saya bahkan menghabiskan tiga buku pelajaran sejarah dan nggak ngantuk-ngantuk. Saya jadi keki sendiri, niatnya tidur eh malah belajar.

sekarang udah agak ngantukan sih. bagus deh
eh sumpah ini ga penting abis.

Oh iya, saya mau minta maaf ke Stefani Dian Werdiningsih, yang nungguin saya dari berhari-hari yang lalu tapi selalu gagal dalam mengontak saya karena saya selalu (saya ulangi: s e l a l u!) ketiduran. Maaf loh jeng, nanti saya ke Jogja deh hehe. Tampung daku!

haaah ngantuk.
tidur ah

Fallin' For You - Colbie Caillat

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better
I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you and me
I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)
I’m fallin’ for you
Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

T is for Tolol

T dan U telah janjian untuk bertemu di suatu tempat di belahan bumi bagian Bandung. U sudah hampir tiba di tempat tersebut, segeralah U menelpon T.

Percakapan melalui telepon selular
U : Halo, di mana lo?
T : Hah? Gue? Emmm, diiii... di sini
U : @#$%&*?!

When you love someone

I love you but it’s not so easy to make you here with me
I wanna touch and hold you forever
But you’re still in my dream
And I can’t stand to wait ‘till nite is coming to my life
But I still have a time to break a silence
When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true…

I used to hide and watch you from a distance and i knew you realized
I was looking for a time to get closer at least to say… “hello”
And I can’t stand to wait your love is coming to my life
When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true…

And I never thought that I’m so strong
I stuck on you and wait so long
But when love comes it can’t be wrong
Don’t ever give up just try and try to get what you want
Cause love will find the way….
When you love someone
Just be brave to say that you want him to be with you
When you hold your love
Don’t ever let it go
Or you will loose your chance
To make your dreams come true…

B is for bego

Sabtu pagi

B : (terbangun dari tidur) "aduuuuh ngantuk!"
A : (lagi beres-beres) "..."
B : (berguling-gulingan di kasur) "aaah, udah hari minggu! males banget deh, besok senin!"
A : "hari ini sabtu tau!"
B : "minggu, lah! kan kemaren jumat, dodoool!"
A : "Hah?!!" (@#*&%$?!)

What a Sleep!

Kemarin, Jumat 2 Oktober, adalah hari yang super menyenangkan buat gue. Benar-benar asoi deh, dan untuk alasan yang sangaaaaat simple. Jadi gini, gue pulang kuliah kemarin jam 10. Jam setengah 11 gitu gue udah sampai kos dan cuaca lumayan adem. Begitu sampai, gue langsung mandi (belom mandi pagi hehe). Gue pakai kaos yang agak longgar dan celana pendek super adem. Sekitar jam 2, turunlah hujan di bumi Bandung ini. Agak deras. Udara makin kerasa dingin. Akhirnya, dengan mata yang mulai layu, gue masuk kamar, menutup semua jalan masuk cahaya, membuka semua ventilasi udara, memutar lagu di kamar dengan volume yang pas di kuping (lagu pertama yang dipasang : Sunday Morning. TOP!), mengambil selimut tipis yang lumayan hangat, lalu gue berguling meringkuk di kasur gue seukuran queen size! (fyi, itu kasur buat berdua sama yoan, tapi *senangnya* yoan belum pulang!!! :D)
Dan gue tertidur.


http://www.allpics4u.com/www/slike/misc/sleeping_positions/sleeping_positions1.jpg

What a sleep! Gue tidur dalam iringan lagu-lagu yang benar-benar damai di telinga dan dalam udara yang sangat sejuk di kulit. Tidur gue benar-benar pulas, nyenyak, dan enaaaaaak banget! Gue gak tau kenapa bisa sedamai itu, tapi serius deh, itu salah satu tidur gue yang benar-benar berkualitas. Rasanya gue tertidur sampai deep banget, sampai rasanya gue udah gak hidup lagi, rasanya bukan cuma badan doang yang tidur, tapi jiwa juga ikut tidur nyenyak, dan itu benar-benar perasaan menyenangkan! Gue dibangunin yoan jam 4 sore. Dan ketika bangun gue ngerasa seneeeeeeeeng banget. Rasanya semua rasa capek hilang gitu. Tidur cuma 2 jam, tapi rasanya udah bertahun-tahun. Super asik!

CURRENT WISH LIST

1. I want to have my tasks done. So malas, deh. :(

2. Endah n Rhesa CD!!

3. I want my hair be long again

4. I wanna have confident, inner (and outer of course haha) beauty, and be dilligent

5. I wanna clean my room. I feel like living inside trash can -__-

6. I want TPB be over soon!

7. I want to buy new cellphone. The old one is DEAD.

8. I wanna get closer to ada-deh-mau-tau-aja :)

9. I wanna buy a very loud alarm.

10. I wanna study architecture in ITB. Next year! :)

11. I wanna ride VW beetle or mini cooper.

Life is a risk

A friend told me:

To hope is to risk despair
to try is to risk failure
to love is to risk not to be loved in return
but the greatest hazard in life is not to risk anything.

1234567

One is chubby, the other one is sweet. The next is pervert and one is silly. Another one is dilligent. There's one who shares knowledge, and there's also one who is too old.

Annoying, irritating, outraging, whatever

Do you know Ron Weasley? A character in Harry Potter.
Well, Ron Weasley is a great character for me. He is insensitive yet funny. He is sarcastic yet kind. He is annoying yet attractive. I thought that would be fun if I have one friend like him.

But, hey, I was wrong! This is not funny anymore, I have one friend like Ron Weasley and I am just very annoyed. This is annoying!

the eight

1. Up
2. Ganesha
3. ITB
4. Walk
5. Watermelon
6. Shoes
7. IM3
8. Call

Those eight things just make me smile. :)

Introspection

If I think deeply, I find out that understanding your own self is as hard as understanding a random person that may be sitting next to you in transjakarta. But, the hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, then accept yourself. It's hard.

After this one year in 12th grade, met some new friends, got closer to the other friends, watched distance gaping between myself and another friend, got through some normal and even weird problems, witnessed some friends struggling, and of course I found myself suffering through this hard year (you know, some exams, try outs, those were killing me), I feel like I find something new about me.

It's not new, of course, but I just never knew it. It was like concealed and hidden, but now it appears on the surface that I can clearly see.

I appreciate honesty. I know it is common, but I just realized that I really appreciate it, even for some facts that people cannot bear. I mean, I cherish it when someone's coming clean to me, telling me some that I need to know. I hate it if someone lie to me. But call me hypocrite, I lie sometimes.

I never knew that I didn't want to cry. All that I knew was I could not cry. Well, crying is difficult for me. And additionally, I was doing this : every time I felt bad and the glands near to my eyes started to be watery, I forced myself not to weep. It happened all the time and now this is the result : even though now I want to cry, I just can't. Well, I still can burst into tears for severe pain, but I just can't for reasons that people easily cry for.

I always thought that I can never be involved in a long distance relationship and even friendship. But I am succeed to proof that I am able to get through that. Now that I am studying outside town, having some friends leave, but what is happening is that I am really expert in maintaining that friendship.

The most pathetic thing I just found out is that I adapt easily, too easily that somehow I lose my identity. Well, it can be that I am not losing my identity, but I just haven't known mine yet. But I really want to know, to build a character.

Oh, now I'm confused :/

Bad friend, good times :/

I don't understand why everybody can be such a good friend. With all those attentions, caring-things, loving-things, and all of the I'm-your-bestfriend-gestures. And I? I'm just being this careless, insensitive friend. So why is that? I never be able to show my feelings, to show how much I care.

I personally think that I am sensitive enough, but the problem is that I always act carelessly, pretend that I don't see anything's coming. But, the truth is that I often see it! I'm just too idiot to let you know that I'm knowing something. But trust me, I do care. I always try my best to help you, to put you out of troubles, but perhaps what you always see is a heartless-zombie is doing some efforts to help you. Sometimes the zombie is succesfull, but again, everyting that the zombie has done is plain, flat, emotionless. The zombie fails to bring some emotion. Oh, please, I really want you to know that the zombie does involve her feeling (and again, that zombie is stupid, cause she doesn't know how to show it off)!

I feel sorry for myself, and I apologize to all of my close friends for being me. I'm not good at being a good friend. Pathetic, it is. Yes. I really cannot say it that I care of you and I love you all. No way, I can't say it, but I can write it down. I write it down for you.

Hard

This wasn't easy these days
Everything was hard, I can say
I tried to care
but found out they didn't wanna share

Imagining a month from now
I think in pain I'm gonna crawl
Be missing everybody now I'm still seeing
End up waiting for the phone calling

Disappointed of what I cannot do
and the mistakes I can't undo
Then I tried to be the one
but somehow I hurt someone

I ditched a dream for another hope
but I was kicked and trapped in confusing rope
And that pal who periodically down
I can't bring up on my own

So what should I do when I miss?
When I'm alone
When I'm lonely
When everything's hard

Imagining a month from now on
Feels like I haven't moved on

from LOVE STORY - Taylor Swift

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think